Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
