I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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