Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
