Someone shit on the floor
babies were throwing up all over the place
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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