my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
