He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
