cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How external is "for external use only"?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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