I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
