It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
