You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think a kid would responsible me up
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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