On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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