did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
