Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ambien. No doubt about it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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