You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Randomize
