He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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