Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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