Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
