i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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