Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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