1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
