we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
