I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
