hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
