i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
