its not stalking. its research.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
