Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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