Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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