party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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