To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize