The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
