alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
