I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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