somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
