You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
two words...techno handjob
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
