We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
