just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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