This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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