The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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