just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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