Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
