I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
