Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
