I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
