I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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