How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
