U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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