So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize