That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
