I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize