Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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