I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize