I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
