I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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