The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
