I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
