So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
