BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
