i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
