So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
