was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Holy shit dude........stairs
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
