I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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