I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
