found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
