Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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