Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize