i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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