his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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