I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
