i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
