the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
