Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
