It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
