So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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