remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
